I was sixteen when I got pregnant, at the end of my ninth grade year. I met Cory who ended up being my daughter’s father. I quit hanging out with all my friends on the cheerleading team, and started hanging out with his friends who were all on drugs. I never did drugs before I became pregnant. When I gave birth to my child, Braylee, Cory was heavily abusing pain pills so I started taking pain pills. After that life just went down hill. I had dropped out of school to try to keep up with him. He was always cheating on me with other girls.
I always had a job, so I started spending all of my money on pain pills. Cory ended up getting another girl pregnant. She now has a daughter six months younger than mine. I stayed with him and tried to work things out. Pain pills got too expensive, so we started doing meth. Then we stated shooting up meth. My daughter was in the mix of all this. Lots of times I would drop her off at my mom’s or my grandmother’s and wouldn’t come back until I was out of money, or when I was ready to get clean for a couple of days.
After violating probation three times I went to jail. After serving a little time the judge let me come to Teen Challenge. While visiting the Lighthouse Church the minister gave an altar call. I don’t really remember what it was for. I had been praying that I would be touched by the Holy Spirit. I don’t really know what came over me, but I got really hot. I started speaking in tongues. I was freaked out at first. Everybody here speaks in tongues. I was like, “What is everybody doing? They’re just babbling.” It suddenly happened to me. I was speaking in tongues and crying and laughing all at the same time. I don’t really speak in tongues that much, but that night I was changed.
When I got to Teen Challenge, I did not want to be here, but through that experience my depression went away, sadness left, my homesickness left. I still experience these things sometimes, but I’m happy to be here at Teen Challenge. I’m growing. My family’s seen me grow.
Drugs aren’t my problem anymore. The craving is gone. I was so cold hearted, but God has completely restored. I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel anything, and now I’m feeling again. God is healing all my past hurts and restoring my heart. I have a relationship with my daughter that I never had before. She tells me I’m a good mom. Even at three years old she sees a difference in me.
Before, I knew there was a God, but I didn’t know Him like I know Him now. I’m so thankful that I have the opportunity to change my life and to be the mom that my daughter deserves.
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