Got another chance to live right after shooting him in the head.

I got into a couple of shootings and some fist fights. Like seven incidents in five days. Then in one of the incidents, some O.G.’s took me to the dessert to kill me because I had beat one of their little homies so bad that his mouth, they had to staple and wire his mouth shut. They felt that I had unjustly done him like that but he owed me nine thousand dollars. So I didn’t care. I just felt like you wronged me and that was the price you pay for wronging me. They took me to the dessert out in Tucson, AZ and tried to make me dig a hole. They were going to bury me in the hole. So I told them; “Kill me and dig it yourself.” One of the guys was like; “Man, listen. Just make him leave. Make him go back to California. Make him leave the city.” They call themselves trying to scare me. So, I said to myself, if they don’t kill me when the sun comes up I will be kicking in their doors doing to them what they should have done to me. Just as sure as when the sun came up I was kicking in one of their doors. But his seven-year-old son grabbed me and said; “Please don’t kill my dad.” So I walked out and left. My partner told me; “Man, listen. You can't let anybody get away with nothing. If they do something to you, make them pay because if you don’t, then they are going to bring it back to you.” They killed Rusty. They shot him down in the front yard like a dog. The same cat that told me that I should have done to them what they were trying to do to me. I was obligated to go back and get some straightening for them killing my partner. So, his nephew and I tried to kill their brother. A couple of incidents took place. Like I said, I shot this cat Raymond in the head because he shot at me first. I should have been facing an attempted murder charge because I shot a guy in the head but he lived. He never told. I never confessed. This is the first time I ever told anybody other than one of my righteous partners about what I did. I didn’t realize that God was moving in my life and trying to get me away from where I was so He could show me the things that He wanted to show me in life. So, I came to Alabama. I was there two months and I got an armed robbery charge. They gave me twenty-one years in prison. The girl I was with was pregnant. I tried to escape and I beat one of the guards up real bad. I tried to get the keys and I thank God that he didn’t die. That would have been twenty more years on the twenty-one they gave me. They might have given me the death penalty. I ended up with inciting a riot, assault with a weapon, assault on an inmate, assault of an officer. That’s when a guy was coming around with one of the law library carts. He had some books he was giving to people that wanted to try to study the law to overturn their cases. People were getting novels and all type of books. It seemed like the only thing that made sense to me on that cart was the Bible. Then I just cried out to God; “If you save my life, if you stop this, I will serve you until I die.” Things didn’t change right away. But I started reading and I started getting an understanding of the word of God through what I comprehended from the stories from Genesis and from the life of David and from the individuals in the Bible. But it really hit me when they let me go back into the population, the general population. I attended a Kairos. It’s when Christians come into the prison system for three days and they witness to people and they tell them about the love of God. My whole life changed. The way I see. The colors, everything changed in my life. Because, here it is, a hardcore gangbanger who is used to a violent life and living the way that I live, I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t stop wanting my life to change. The only thing that I wanted after those three days were over with was the love of God. I didn’t want to talk to my homeys in prison. I didn’t want to talk to my gang members in prison. I didn’t want to kick it with anybody. I wanted that real love. God love. Not you love me because I got your back or you love me because we are in the same gang. You love me because of all the wrong reasons. I needed that unconditional love. I got all my Loc’s together and I told them I didn’t want to be a Crip anymore. I didn’t want to be a gang member anymore and they didn’t give it to me so they couldn’t take it from me. This was between me and God. I told them that I love them but I can’t live my life like that anymore. There was some that got upset and a couple was walking around talking about; they wanted to do this and do this when we catch them we are going to stab them and do this. I told one of them; “Whatever you and Satan bring to the table, me and God is going to stop it.” The violence stopped. I got in school. I got a degree in commercial foods. I got back in school and started doing things. I started paying attention to the rules. I started abiding by the rules. The warden told me that if I stayed out of trouble and I went back to school and I got my degree that he would send me, he would give me my custody. I honored it and he honored it. I have been home nine years. I did twelve years straight in prison. At times, I am ashamed of what I did. But now everything that I do in life has a purpose. My love for God and my love for others and wanting to see God change other people’s lives, it means a great deal to me.