I loved my son, but I didn’t I have a connection with him. I didn’t know why I felt that way or thought something was wrong with me. As I prayed about it I asked, “God, is there something wrong with me?” At that moment I turned my radio on and the announcer said, “If you’re having trouble healing from a past abortion please call your local pregnancy center.” I knew that’s what I had to do. So I went and talked to them, and that’s how I became involved with the post abortion recovery program.
The post-abortion counseling is usually a small group of women. My group had three other girls in it, with two counselors. Before the program begins there is a mini retreat weekend away. Then you meet once a week for six weeks, working through different stages of grief, and how to deal with your anger.
My healing has come over time and is still continuing today. I work at the *National Memorial for the Unborn helping women who have had abortions. I think I get healed a little more every day. I don’t think I’ll ever be [totally] healed until I’m in heaven. There’s definitely a difference now. I’m not sad anymore over what happened. I regret it, yes, but I don’t wake up with a cloud of doom over me. I’m happy. I know she’s in heaven, and one day I’ll get to go see her. My goal now is to help other women know they don’t have to wake up in guilt, depression, and shame, and that they are not alone. There're so many women that have made this choice.
The National Memorial for the Unborn is a beautiful place. It used to be an abortion clinic. By a miraculous series of events, it was bought out. The area where the abortions took place was bulldozed. The Memorial was then built. It has a fifty-foot long granite wall that holds over 2,700 plaques. Each plaque honors an aborted baby. There is also a miscarriage and stillborn garden there. Parents can come and remember their stillborn and miscarried baby.
If anybody is struggling, and they’re watching this I’d say your heart is probably about to beat out of your chest. Know that there is forgiveness. You can contact your local pregnancy resource center. They have things that will help you. You will not be condemned there. You just have to trust God. You have to believe it. You can’t just wait for some magical experience to happen. You have to believe it. “Save One” is a post-abortive bible study I definitely recommend. It’s what I went through. It works, but you have to believe it.
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