We go into this counseling service, and the counselor’s name was Phil. Phil sat us down and asked me to tell him a little bit about why we were there. For the first ten minutes I spent going off on my husband and telling all of his faults and the problems he had. Phil looked me square in the eyes and said, “Annette, it’s very clear to me that what you have are not marital problems but spiritual problems.” I was very offended by that because my husband was a Deacon in the church. We served. I cooked meals for people. I kept people's kids. I taught Sunday School. I taught **AWANA. I did a lot of good things at my church.
After that, I really can't remember a lot of what he said. The one thing that I do remember he said after that is that he took me back to a place in my life that I really didn’t expect to go that day. That was a time in my life when I was seventeen years old and there was a boy whose attention I wanted a lot. I went to a party that my mother forbade me to go to. I went, much against her wishes. At that party there were drugs. There was alcohol and I partook of all of those things. I willingly went to a bedroom with this guy that night. That was something I had never done in the past and in my mind I was going to "make out.” That was not his intentions. He did cross the line. Now we know that as date rape. Thirty some odd years ago that's really not the name we called it. It was a guy that I was pursuing. For many years I blamed myself for that too because I did go into the bedroom.
Through much counseling, I realized that when you say no that should mean no. Anyway, this day, telling Phil this part of my life, he looked at me and said; “You know, truth is not what you feel. It’s what God's word says, and God’s word says, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin.’” [1 John1:9]
All I can say to you is that I met God face-to-face. I've always said that was my “Road to Damascus” experience, like the Apostle Paul. It was my I-75 North experience.
I guess my eyes were closed, and I remember seeing a picture, in my mind, of Jesus Christ on the cross. Something spoke to my heart very audibly. Nobody else could have heard it, but I certainly did. I believe it was God and He said to me, “Annette, I sent My Son to die for that abortion.” It was that point I began to weep openly and loud weeping noises. I was saying, “He died. He died. He died for me.” My husband, who was driving, looked at me and said, “Annette, I thought you knew that.” Do I believe that was the first time I entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ? Yes, I do. I knew that Jesus was real. I totally believed that but so did the demons. They know that. What I did not do, I think was the missing link was to accept what Jesus had done. I felt like I needed to add to it. I still work. I love my work. I love working for the Lord and doing things in the church for other people and loving people like Christ has loved me. It’s different now because I do it out of a thankful heart and not out of a sense of responsibility or somehow maybe if I do enough it will get better and the shame will go away. Only He could have taken away that shame.
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