Confused by this fire inside my belly.

Sitting at football, the chaplain was talking and I wasn’t really listening. I was just looking up at that sky. I started thinking at some time my life is going to end. I don’t know where I am going to be and I don’t know what I am going to do. So the next week, I am in class with somebody and she asked me, said; “Do you go to church anywhere?” I told her no. She said; “Do you want to go to church with me?” I said; “Sure.” So the next night I go to church and we are coming in and worship starts. I’m not used to this. Everything is just a little bit just freaking me out. I’m used to; get up when the pastor says get up and sing. Sit back down and listen to the message and go home and just feel good about yourself. So I’m there and worship is going on. I’m like, this is amazing to me. People are shouting and jumping up and down praising Jesus. It’s just crazy. Later on, that night the student pastor comes down and he’s like; “Everybody get in line and begin to pray.” I remember there is like a little flame that starts in my belly. At the time, I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know anything at the time. So I go home that night, (I lived with my grandparents). I asked her, (because she goes to church) I asked her, I said; “I just feel this flame inside my belly and it won’t go away, it’s just sitting there.” She begins to tell me; “That’s the Holy Spirit inside of you.” She began to explain what the Holy Spirit is and what He does for us.” I go to sleep that night. It’s gone the next morning. I keep coming to church every Wednesday night and Sunday morning. The person who brought me, she doesn’t come a lot, so I’m just here by myself. I really don’t know anybody. For some reason, I just want to keep on coming. I don’t know anybody. So I just keep on coming. One day the student pastor calls me. He says; “We have got a pay for you for the beach trip we go on every year.” I knew nothing about it. He said; “Somebody paid for you to come.” So I said; “Okay, I will come.” The whole week there it was a service on the beach. It was awesome. The last night, all of the men got together and one by one the guys stood up and said something over us. I looked out over the beach and the water was just calling me. I don’t know what it was. There was this flame inside my stomach just boiling over. So as soon as the last person spoke, I stood up. I walked over in front of the ocean. My face just hit straight to the sand. I just began to weep and weep, and just cry out to God. I hear footsteps behind me. I got up and the student pastor got us all together and the water started rushing over our feet. He said; “You know the Lord is just washing stuff away, just washing everything away.” I was like, I don’t just want a feet washing, I want more than this. I started walking out a little farther and a little farther. He came out and he started baptizing everybody. It was just an awesome experience. One thing this pastor down at the Ramp and our student pastor said; “When you go back to school there is going to be something different about you. Someone’s going to ask you about it. So the very first day, I’m in class. I used to have anger issues all of the time real bad. If someone just said a little thing at me, I would get ticked off and go at them, cuss at them, maybe hit them. He kept saying stuff to me and kept trying to pick at me to get me to go back at him. So I just didn’t want to say anything to him. I’m sitting there doing my work and he stops. He says; “There’s something different about you. What is it?” I began to explain to him what happened that summer. What happened to me what happened that Summer. So at that end of the school year, that same guy that asked me, he got saved at his Uncles church. So you know, I feel like that’s a victory over my testimony. My friends just began to abandon me and just began to leave. I am just crying out to the Lord; “Why are they leaving me? They are going to hang out other places and they are not inviting me. Lord, why is this happening?” I gained two times more friends and loyal trustful friends here at my church than I ever did anywhere else.