Find
Hope
God loves you and he cares about you; and he wants the best for you. You find freedom in his love through surrendering to him.
I don’t know what it was. There was this flame inside my stomach just boiling over.
I began to fill it with my surroundings, which was women and alcohol. It wasn’t long until I found myself with a $70,000 a year cocaine addiction.
"I grew up in a preacher’s home. When I started thinking about the cowboy deal my dad was like, “We don’t do that.” I said, with a laugh, “What do you mean, we?”
Everything was going beautifully, but there was an emptiness in my life and I was frustrated. I kept thinking, “There has to be more.”
They had read an article in the Tampa Tribune newspaper about my Yoga classes at four universities. They knew I was a seeker of truth, hungry for reality.
When I was sick and by myself at home I would think, “What exactly is the purpose in this. What are you doing? You’re still alone. You still have nobody in your life. You still have that void. So what you’re searching for is ...
I couldn’t find enough drugs to make me happy. I couldn’t find enough alcohol to make me happy. I couldn’t find enough women to make me happy. I had all the money I wanted. I just couldn’t find happiness.
I tried to live for the Lord and the Devil at the same time. I was straddling the fence, so to speak. It doesn’t work. I thought, “I can’t live it.”
We have a phrase in Spanish that translates in English as, “If you live by the sword, you will most likely die by the sword.”, or, it could be “...you will die by the gun.”, whichever is your weapon of choice.