Find
Hope
I knew better. I was raised better, but once I started and the more I did it the deeper into it I got.
I slept in the car one night with my newborn baby. That was one of those “God, why me” moments.
I did the empty chair procedure. I asked my father all these questions. Then I was to get up and sit in the chair and answer the questions. This didn’t make a bit of sense to me but I did it.
I just started squalling and laughing and carrying on like a crazy woman. It was like a bolt of lightening hit me in the head.
"Only the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy but I have come to give you life so that you may have it abundantly."
"I almost feel completely empty, completely drained, completely freed of everything that had held me back before."
And God clearly said; “You are going to die this year.” I remember it scared me.
I just lost all hope. I was just being dealt the wrong hand. I really went into a depression.
Dad would be like; “Yeah I will be at your event. I will be at your wrestling match.” He wouldn’t show up.
I injected it intravenously. But by the time I was using meth amphetamine, I was willing to do whatever I had to do, um, for, for the dope