Find
Hope
"I started my speech to the parole board by stating; ‘I’m guilty of murder too, and the father of the person I killed forgave me and welcomed me into his family. So, who am I to not extend that same forgiveness to her?"
We are all looking to medicate some internal pain of a lack. There’s some pain that’s driving the need.
I was so hungry for affirmation as a woman that there was a lot of short term relationships.
"So, here I am three affairs in three months and I was at the lowest place in my life that I had ever been, ever."
I knocked on the door and Satan said; “You have to sell your soul to come in here.” The ledge started moving in. So, I sold my soul
Really, I wanted to die. I was doing all the things that were killing me anyway. I had so much pain, hurt, and hatred I didn’t know how to process any of it.
I couldn’t find enough drugs to make me happy. I couldn’t find enough alcohol to make me happy. I couldn’t find enough women to make me happy. I had all the money I wanted. I just couldn’t find happiness.
Then they gang raped me. I came close to dying that night.
One of the women was a employee at work. The Board of Directors called me in. After questioning me about this they terminated my employment, effective immediately.
I used to break into cars quite a bit. Steal radios, speakers, walk out of Lowes with baskets full of chain saws, carts full of chain saws, just crazy things because I could get dope for them. I had to have my dope to keep go...