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Hope
When I was twelve the Lord woke me up one night and instructed me to pray for my future wife whom I had never met.
“You’re going to end up like your father, a bum on the street, a loser, an alcoholic.” As a kid, growing up hearing those things hurt me. I thought, “Man, after everything I do for you, this is how you love me.”
I remember of walking on a bridge in New York City, hearing an evil presence. As I looked over the edge of the bridge I heard a voice say, “Jump. It’ll be all over.”
I had gotten so far down I was eating out of a garbage can. A pastor came to the campsite where I was living and said, ‘Would you like to go to church today?’ I said, “Well, not particularly, not really.” When he said, “We're...
I haven’t dated that much, but with my first boyfriend, I just didn’t really hold that much of standards for myself. So I allowed myself to be verbally abused. I allowed him to talk down to me.
I could tell him things I couldn’t tell my friends. I later learned that’s what women who are abused do. They keep it a secret. Well, everything in my life was a secret anyway.
"I started to understand that was the void I was trying to fill is that I didn’t have Him in my life."
It became a vicious cycle of doing cocaine to stay up all day sot I could work and then doing heroin to sleep late at night.
"I said to myself, “Okay God if I die tonight, I’m going to die obeying you.”
She sat me down on her couch and asked me if I knew how much Jesus loved me. My first thought was, “Why are you talking this Jesus stuff in the middle of all this drama? Let it rest.” Somehow at that moment I really was wanti...